When Baby Kev Kev was just two weeks old, I posted an Instagram picture with this caption: ” Today was one of those #winning days as a mom. I got almost everything checked off my to do list for the day and managed both kids by myself for the first time. Plus, we were all dressed and ready to go by 7:30am for Baby Kev Kev’s 2 week doctor appointment. Well… minus Brooke’s shoes.. she is obsessed with taking them off/putting them back on right now. I had to document the day, because who knows what tomorrow will hold with #twoundertwo”.
When I wrote that statement, I knew hard days were coming. I knew that everyday wouldn’t be so great. I knew that some days, I would be 30 minutes late with spit up on my shirt. I knew that some days, I wouldn’t get anything checked off of my to do list. I knew that it would be hard. I didn’t have just a glowing expectation of 2 kids. I knew it would be a lot of work.
But, I didn’t know how hard it would be. Its so easy to scroll through your Instagram feed and see all of the good. You see smiling, picture perfect babes, and mamas with perfect outfits and hair. You see the fun times. You rarely see the hard days. You rarely see the real, the messy days.
The truth is, I have been struggling with this a lot since becoming a parent of two. Don’t get me wrong, I love my babies like crazy and have had fun, but it has been very hard. Some days, I feel like I am failing at everything. I feel like I’m failing at potty training Brooke, and letting her watch too much TV. I feel like I’m failing with Baby Kev Kev when he won’t stop crying. I feel like I’m failing at blogging, because I can’t keep up. I feel like I’m failing around the house, because its hard to even get dishes cleaned from the day, let alone pick up toys or clean. I feel like I’m failing as a wife, because all of my attention is being divided between babies that “need” me. Then, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that our life isn’t picture perfect. I feel guilty that I can’t keep up. I feel guilty that I don’t have this two kids thing figured out yet. I feel guilty that I’m not doing better.
I am exhausted. I can’t keep up. I need rest.
But, as a wife and mom, how do you rest? In Exodus 31, God tells Moses that keeping the Sabbath is of the utmost importance. God knew we would need rest. But, does that mean we just take off all day on Sunday and rest? I kind of wish, but no, it doesn’t. In the New Testament, we learn in Mark 2 and 3 that our Sabbath rest comes through Jesus Christ.
Right now, if you are a believer, you have the Holy Spirit inside of you. Let me say that again, you have the HOLY SPIRIT inside of you. This is meant to be life giving. Jesus is available to us at all times, He is not confined to a day. You have the presence and power of Christ in YOU.
So, what does this rest practically look like? Well, you are at your best when you have been in the presence of God. For me, this means taking minutes and moments in my day to be in HIS presence. Right now, that looks like reading my devotional while nursing in the morning, praying through the tough moments when my toddler is testing me, thanking God in the sweet moments when things are going well, and reminding myself each night before bed that my behavior doesn’t effect my position with Christ. But, this might look different in your day based on where you are in life.
If you are a working mom, that might mean spending five minutes in between meetings in prayer, or listening to worship music on your way home from work. If you have grown kids, this might look like family dinner discussing your day and praying for each other.
The biggest thing that helps me is remembering that God isn’t looking at my to do list and judging me based off of what I do and don’t get done. He isn’t looking at me as a failure if I don’t get the dishes cleaned or if I don’t read my devotional for the day. My position with Him is secure. I am a child of the King. I am loved. I am redeemed. I have His grace and power.
This week has been hard, but good at the same time. I don’t have everything figured out and I am starting to become okay with that. When I wrote my husband an email earlier this week telling him I felt like I was failing at so many things, he sent me to listen to a sermon. Thats all he said, Go listen to this. So, I did and he was perfectly right. The inspiration for this post and my new positive attitude is because of this Sermon by Matt Chandler. If you are struggling with balancing work and rest in your life, I highly suggest giving this a listen.
Mamas, rest in HIM today, don’t carry the burden alone.