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Faith, Love, Marriage
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January 22, 2013

Marriage Lesson: You Set The Tone

 photo homeiswhereyouare_zps72b9196b.jpg
One of my biggest first marriage lessons: Your husband may be the spiritual leader of your home, but you set the tone of your home.

 
It’s true.
 
If you have started reading the book “Power of a Praying Wife” that I talked about last week, you will find this in the first chapter. When I read it for the first time, I brushed over it. It lacked meaning and importance to me. I felt like I gave Kevin enough love and support. WRONG {well in a certain way}. Do I only give my husband love and support when it’s convenient for me? YES I DID, and most likely still do at times.
 
This notion of me setting the tone of my home seemed unimportant and irrelevant to me until about 2 ½ months into our marriage. Let me set the stage for the story first: Kevin and I have never really had weekends together. He played Baseball at UTSA all through college, so we were always at games/practices. So, for me, I had an expectation that when we graduated, we would have weekends. We could do fun stuff together, go home and see our family, etc. But, Kevin now works on Saturdays. {this should also be a lesson on not taking too many expectations into your marriage}. So, It was a Saturday, I was at home, alone, all day. I was feeling down because I had nothing to do and all my friends were at a football game. I admit, some tears were shed because I was frustrated about not getting what selfish me wanted.
 
I had a bad attitude. Kevin would be home in 30 minutes and I couldn’t shake my bad attitude. All I wanted to do was complain to him about how bad MY day was and about me, me, me. Then, it hit me. I didn’t want to be negative, or have a bad attitude, or extend this attitude to the nighttime or to Kevin.
 
So, I took the next twenty minutes and turned all the lights off to just pray. I asked God to take away my selfishness, to take away expectations that didn’t really matter in my marriage, to give me a new attitude of gratefulness. And he did.
 
When Kevin walked in the door, I greeted him with a smile and asked about his day. I cooked dinner, we watched TV, we had a great night. I could have complained, I could have thrown that burden on my husband. But that is not where it would have belonged. In Power of a Praying Wife, she prays “ Lord, release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to you”.
 
I am not saying never let your husband know your feelings, but I am saying that the timing and attitude you have when you express those feelings set a tone for your house. If I would have complained, we most likely would not have had a good night. It would have been negative. But with God’s help, we have the power to change our mindset to what really matters and set a loving, safe tone for our homes.
 

Random Note: I am addicted to this song right now.

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22 Comments
  • Heather @ From Here to There
    January 22, 2013

    Wow… it’s unbelievable how much I needed to read this! Thank you so much for sharing your story, it made it easy to relate to the topic. What a struggle that is though, something I should definitely work on.

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Heather @ From Here to There
      January 22, 2013

      Thanks Heather, I am so glad you can relate. It is tough, but so worth it.

      Reply
  • Sybil@PeaceitallTogether
    January 22, 2013

    What a great prayer…”Lord, release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to you.” I will be praying this, repeatedly. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Sybil@PeaceitallTogether
      January 22, 2013

      I know, Power of a Praying Wife is an awesome book!

      Reply
  • Brittany Walsh
    January 22, 2013

    You are keeping me in check girl. I love it. Keep it coming 🙂

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Brittany Walsh
      January 22, 2013

      You are awesome! Thanks girl 🙂 Glad to be there.

      Reply
  • Rachel
    January 22, 2013

    What an excellent lesson to learn so early on in marriage! I know I’ve had to check my attitude a few times over the past few years!

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Rachel
      January 22, 2013

      I know, its so easy to forget!

      Reply
  • Hearts & Crafts Boutique
    January 22, 2013

    What a great post! It’s such a good reminder on how to base a marriage on Christ!

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Hearts & Crafts Boutique
      January 22, 2013

      Thanks!

      Reply
  • Wifessionals
    January 22, 2013

    GREAT post girl!!! My mom loves that book…I should probably read it…. <3

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Wifessionals
      January 22, 2013

      YES!!!! READ IT 🙂

      Reply
  • Chelsea
    January 22, 2013

    You have such a beautiful blog– absolutely beautiful!

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Chelsea
      January 22, 2013

      Thank you Chelsea!

      Reply
  • Ashley Robyn
    January 22, 2013

    This is a great lesson girl. Thanks. 🙂

    Reply
  • Kalyn Randolph
    January 22, 2013

    Amen, amen! This post it right on!

    Reply
  • Veronica Lee Burns
    January 23, 2013

    I really want to read this book!
    My husband works on Saturdays and I can definitely relate. It’s hard sometimes. Most Saturdays I spend the morning doing stuff around the house for us and the try and have a project to work on, either alone or with friends. Sometimes it’s hard not to be selfish those days. God works in you for sure.

    Reply
  • Bailey- I Know All the Words
    January 23, 2013

    new follower from the friends to followers hop! looking forward to reading your blog 😀

    http://www.iknowallthewords.com

    Reply
  • PMerr
    January 23, 2013

    Great post! I will now have to go buy the book! 🙂

    Reply
  • Mariel Collins
    January 23, 2013

    It is the absolute truth! That book is truly powerful, and it might need a re-read asap! A beautiful reminder, thank you so much for linking up:)

    Reply
  • Clara Schoen
    January 24, 2013

    Thanks for sharing Marquis. I am about to start reading Power of a praying wife. Its so important to be a Godly wife and what His plans calls us to be.

    Also, Mandi Mapes goes to my church and sings and writes most songs we use – check her out http://www.mandimapes.com/ or you can visit Brook Hills and here the worship CD – http://www.brookhills.org/gathering/brook_hills_music.html.

    Happy Wed!

    Reply
  • mrsbohaty
    June 4, 2013

    I stumbled on your blog through Pinterest, and I’ve been readingfor the past half hour. This past in particular was a blessing and admonition to me today. Thank you!

    -Darian Bohaty

    Reply

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Hi, I’m Marquis Clarke

I'm a modern mom of two, who strives to encourage women throughout marriage and motherhood. I embrace life as it comes with kid meltdowns, family dance parties, and snacks galore. I believe that laughter is the best medicine, simplicity is perfection, and that life is breathtakingly beautiful.

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Yesterdays La Dolce Vita Brunch at @zanticucina was so much fun!🍋💙 The atmosphere was filled with joy, the restaurant was decorated with so many cute details, they had live music and the food was beyond delicious! Make sure to follow @zanticucina and watch for their next themed Brunch in July and August!! But don’t wait until then to try them out - their menu is amazing and their pizzas are next level! #houston #houstonmoms #thewoodlands #thingstodoinhouston #houstoninfluencer
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4th of July Kid Basket 💙🧨 COMMENT “shop” for the link to everything! Just such a cute way to get your kids excited about the holiday. I love making these sweet memories with them. #4thofjuly #kidbasket #targetfinds #targetmom #tarhetdoesitagain / https://liketk.it/5gN9h
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I dunno how I blinked and went from 25 to 35 😳💗 so thankful for another year and excited to see what 35 feels like…. Prob the same as 34🙃

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I dunno how I blinked and went from 25 to 35 😳💗 so thankful for another year and excited to see what 35 feels like…. Prob the same as 34🙃 COMMENT “shop” for the link to my dress 💗 #happybirthday #hbd #summerdress / https://liketk.it/5gL2N
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Today is #WorldRefugeeDay. 🧡🌎Did you know that number of refugees has TRIPLED in the last decade, making this one of the most urgent and escalating global crises? The Sudan Crisis is at the forefront. As of last September, over 14 million people have been forced from their homes due to the ongoing conflict - over half of them being children. @WorldVisionUSA is responding with lifesaving support—and we can help! 3 Ways to Help: SHARE this post, PRAY for displaced families and children, or DONATE using the link in my bio to support World Vision’s lifesaving work.#WorldVisionPartner
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💙You can use PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long!💛🎟️ We truly love @Splashway Waterpark so much!💦☀️ 10/10 always recommend #splashway because it’s so family friendly for all ages (toddler - adults). Their slides are awesome. 😎 The dueling splash blasters are our favorite! We rode so many slides this year and when we weren’t on a slide, we were in the lazy river or by the wave pool.🌊 #houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark #houstoninfluencer
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💙You can use my PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long!💛🎟️ We truly love @Splashway Waterpark and Campground so much.💦☀️From their fun family friendly waterpark to their lively, activity filled campground. There’s never a dull moment. You can camp in a tent, bring your RV, rent cabins, bungalows, houses, etc - they have so many lodging options. & at their campground, you can:😎 Eat at The Hideaway Play Bingo Play Putt Putt Golf⛳️ Play on playgrounds Watch a family movie 🎥 Play life size games Play Laser Tag Eat s’mores Listen to live music Rent Golf Carts (a MUST in our book) Go Biking or Fishing or Paddle boarding Play Pickleball, Volleyball or basketball 🏀 && MORE!!! We’ve made so many awesome family memories here over the years! Highly recommend planning your next getaway to Splashway!💦☀️ #houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
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First 24 hours at @splashway has been a success as always!! We’ve been coming here since 2018 (little kev was only 1!)☀️🌊

It’s so family friendly and we’ve made the best memories here 💙

🎟️ PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long! 🎟️

#houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
First 24 hours at @splashway has been a success as always!! We’ve been coming here since 2018 (little kev was only 1!)☀️🌊

It’s so family friendly and we’ve made the best memories here 💙

🎟️ PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long! 🎟️

#houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
First 24 hours at @splashway has been a success as always!! We’ve been coming here since 2018 (little kev was only 1!)☀️🌊

It’s so family friendly and we’ve made the best memories here 💙

🎟️ PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long! 🎟️

#houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
First 24 hours at @splashway has been a success as always!! We’ve been coming here since 2018 (little kev was only 1!)☀️🌊

It’s so family friendly and we’ve made the best memories here 💙

🎟️ PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long! 🎟️

#houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
First 24 hours at @splashway has been a success as always!! We’ve been coming here since 2018 (little kev was only 1!)☀️🌊

It’s so family friendly and we’ve made the best memories here 💙

🎟️ PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long! 🎟️

#houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
First 24 hours at @splashway has been a success as always!! We’ve been coming here since 2018 (little kev was only 1!)☀️🌊

It’s so family friendly and we’ve made the best memories here 💙

🎟️ PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long! 🎟️

#houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
First 24 hours at @splashway has been a success as always!! We’ve been coming here since 2018 (little kev was only 1!)☀️🌊

It’s so family friendly and we’ve made the best memories here 💙

🎟️ PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long! 🎟️

#houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
@marquis_clarke
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First 24 hours at @splashway has been a success as always!! We’ve been coming here since 2018 (little kev was only 1!)☀️🌊 It’s so family friendly and we’ve made the best memories here 💙 🎟️ PROMO // CLARKE15 for 15% off #splashway waterpark tickets all season long! 🎟️ #houstonmom #houstontexas #texasvacation #waterpark #texaswaterpark
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