Today, I have been thinking a lot about friendship. Am I a good friend? Are people good friends to me? And honestly, some feelings of hurt and disappointment came up. So, I decided to comb through scripture.
I realized that friendship is depicted as profoundly intimate.
The first example of friendship that came to my mind was David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel. In chapter 18, its says that Jonathan “loved David as his own soul” and that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David”. They loved each other as if their lives depended on it almost instantly.
And the second passage I thought of was in Ruth 1, between Ruth and Naomi. These women were basically thrown in a relationship together due to marriages. Yet, when they no longer had to live the same life, Ruth chose to stay with Naomi. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be burred. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.“
After reading that passage and truly thinking about it I saw how intimately God really defined friendship. I mean we normally use this passage for marriage {I know we did at our wedding}. And honestly, I think we are uncomfortable thinking about friendship in these terms.
I think its easy to think of our husband or future husband in terms of being knit together or loving their soul as your own. But our friends? Thats hard, scary and a touch, messy. I think we fear this because we fear the rejection and authenticity of others. On top of that, we have been hurt before by people we trusted. So, how do we do this? How do we trust other people in this intimate way?
I think those are really hard questions, because we are ALL human. We make mistakes, sometimes WE aren’t good friends. I that was one of the hardest things coming to grips with when reading this. I don’t think I can say that I always love my friends the way I should.
In Nehemiah 1, we see how Nehemiah poured out his heart to God for his people, weeping and mourning for days {as well as fasting and praying}. And throughout the New Testament, Paul is constantly praying for people he has meet and thinking about them.
I want my friends to love me this way – kind of selfish of me when I struggle with this. I want to try to be a better friend. I think a shared faith, unwavering devotion and encouragement are vital parts of a real friendship. Yes, I know friendship can be messy and that people will let me down in this area, but that doesn’t mean I should give up and not try. I am going to start really praying and seeking God in this area. Do I really love people around me?
Source: google.com
What keeps us from this intimacy in friendship? How can we move past this to be a better friend?
Sarah
Wow, what a great post. Thank you!
Mallory Hermann
What a beautiful post about friendship.
Alessandra Ferguson
What a great and challenging post! Thanks for sharing!
Sybil@PeaceitallTogether
What makes friendship difficult for me is that I love completely, with this authentic kind of love, but often don’t get that kind of love in return. While I continue to love my friends, not expecting anythjng in return, sometimes it is frustrating. This has caused me to be more guarded, in the past. But, God has been teaching me a lot about friendship in the past year.
Meghan
Thanks for writing this, I sometimes struggle with others’ authenticity. But I definitely know I can be a better friend as well!
Recently Roached
This is a great reminder. Friendship, as my friend put it, is the best ship 🙂
Chrissy Thomas
I really love this post! I struggle all the time with feeling like I’m not a good enough friend or feeling like my friends aren’t really interested in what’s going on with me. It’s hard. I’ve lost many friendships that I had been completely invested in because of this very issue. Thanks for writing this post!
Becca Moss
I loved this post. I also love that I know what tv show the photo from the first picture is from. (:
Diane
Loved this! I do feel the same way sometimes. I can always improve upon my relationships, but sometimes the hurt that has been felt in the past really makes you hold back and not open up. I will try to be a better friend!
Wifessionals
I love this post…especially the David reference. Girls can be especially mean and hurtful so sometimes I let my past make me more guarded than I want to be.
xoxo, Kaitlyn