Today, I have been thinking a lot about friendship. Am I a good friend? Are people good friends to me? And honestly, some feelings of hurt and disappointment came up. So, I decided to comb through scripture.
I realized that friendship is depicted as profoundly intimate.
The first example of friendship that came to my mind was David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel. In chapter 18, its says that Jonathan “loved David as his own soul” and that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David”. They loved each other as if their lives depended on it almost instantly.
And the second passage I thought of was in Ruth 1, between Ruth and Naomi. These women were basically thrown in a relationship together due to marriages. Yet, when they no longer had to live the same life, Ruth chose to stay with Naomi. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be burred. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.“
After reading that passage and truly thinking about it I saw how intimately God really defined friendship. I mean we normally use this passage for marriage {I know we did at our wedding}. And honestly, I think we are uncomfortable thinking about friendship in these terms.
I think its easy to think of our husband or future husband in terms of being knit together or loving their soul as your own. But our friends? Thats hard, scary and a touch, messy. I think we fear this because we fear the rejection and authenticity of others. On top of that, we have been hurt before by people we trusted. So, how do we do this? How do we trust other people in this intimate way?
I think those are really hard questions, because we are ALL human. We make mistakes, sometimes WE aren’t good friends. I that was one of the hardest things coming to grips with when reading this. I don’t think I can say that I always love my friends the way I should.
In Nehemiah 1, we see how Nehemiah poured out his heart to God for his people, weeping and mourning for days {as well as fasting and praying}. And throughout the New Testament, Paul is constantly praying for people he has meet and thinking about them.
I want my friends to love me this way – kind of selfish of me when I struggle with this. I want to try to be a better friend. I think a shared faith, unwavering devotion and encouragement are vital parts of a real friendship. Yes, I know friendship can be messy and that people will let me down in this area, but that doesn’t mean I should give up and not try. I am going to start really praying and seeking God in this area. Do I really love people around me?
Source: google.com
What keeps us from this intimacy in friendship? How can we move past this to be a better friend?