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Faith, Marriage
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January 26, 2015

5 Tips for Better Communication in Marriage

5 Tips For Better Communication in MarraigeWe are constantly communicating throughout our day. Its actually crazy if you think about all of the forms of communication we have – mail, phone, email, FaceTime, social media, in-person… the list goes on. And, we all know that our communication can become distorted, especially if its not face-to-face where you can here someone’s tone.

 

With all of the forms of communication available to us, you would think that we would be better at communicating; however, I tend to lean toward the contrary. I think we have more conversations, but not necessarily as deep or effective. We have all kinds of things trying to win over our time and attention. For instance, the other night I was on my laptop sending out an email, while simultaneously scrolling through Instagram on my phone and Kevin was playing a video game, while watching the Australian Open. While all of this was taking place, I actually tried to have a conversation with him about baby stuff. Neither of us was completely paying attention to the other and while the “conversation” took place, it wasn’t necessarily effective. Does that make sense?

 

Now imagine that same scenario if I would have brought up a touchy subject, it easily could have exploded into an argument just because of the timing and lack of attention. I think we could all stand to improve our communication and my first real tip would be to ASK your spouse. Yep, ASK THEM how you could communicate better with them, and then maybe pick up a tip or two below.

 

5 Tips for Better Communication in Marriage

  1. Eliminate Distractions: Distractions come in many forms: technology, kids, cooking, noises, to-do lists and work are just a few. When you are starting a conversation, ask yourself what distractions you could eliminate to make it more effective. When we eliminate distractions, we are less likely to have misunderstandings and way more willing to listen to the other person with our full attention. Doing this tip alone will help cut down miscommunication a TON!!
  2. Adjust your Mindset: Mindset is key when you are communicating, especially if you are communicating about a topic you may not agree about. Take your time and make sure you are in the right mindset before starting the conversation. You want your walls to be down with your spouse so that you can be completely open and honest. Also, taking time can help eliminate any high emotions which could escalate the conversation. I try to make sure I am in a “soft-hearted” mindset as well, if my heart is hard or upset still, I try to readjust so that we can understand each other better.
  3. Actively Listen: If we are honest, when we are communicating with others, most of the time we are thinking about what we are going to say next. Someone pointed this out to me a year ago and I realized how true it really was. I noticed that I do this in conversations with co-workers, friends and family and not just my spouse. Listening doesn’t mean hearing the other person and preparing what you are going to say next, it means clearing your mind and truly taking in what the other person in saying.
  4. Perspective: If you are actively listening, it might take you a little bit longer to respond that is perfectly fine. I think this gives you time to think about the other persons response or perspective and really try to understand. It is easy to get tunnel vision and only see things your way. Having an open mind can help in the communication process.
  5. Don’t React: You are not always going to agree. Every conversation is not going to go well. Sometimes, you have to take time to think and come up with a compromise. The best tip I have is not be reactionary and raise your voice or tone. You may both need to think about things and continue the conversation tomorrow when someone has an idea for a solution.

Hopefully you can take something from these tips and apply it to your communication skills with your spouse! I would love to know if you have any other tips that help you communicate more effectively with your husband (comment below if you do so others can benefit).

 

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11 Comments
  • Marissa Luke
    January 26, 2015

    My fiance and I spend all day around technology so it’s hard to not get attached to it. Between cell phones, online classes and social media, it seems endless. One of my goals for the year is to unplug more, so we have dinner without devices, leave phones in the car when we hike and limit using them before bed. I have noticed such a difference and my guy is so impressed!

    Reply
  • Jaclyn
    January 26, 2015

    These are wonderful tips! My husband and I have been working on actively listening to each other and eliminating distractions ourselves. It really makes all the difference. 🙂

    Reply
  • Kerri @ Haven Way
    January 26, 2015

    This is something my husband and I have been talking about a lot lately. Netflix is great, but quality time shouldn’t include a television – we are working on spending time together without distraction.

    Reply
  • Cassie Lee
    January 26, 2015

    I really need this. We are stuck on Netflix and technology constantly.

    Reply
  • Keating Bartlett
    January 26, 2015

    I love this! My husband and I have been working on our listening skills. We’re quick to jump to conclusions sometimes rather than taking the time to listen to each other’s words.

    Reply
  • Ashley LaMar
    January 26, 2015

    Active listening is a great skill to learn. I used to teach a class on it and it’s amazing how often we hear without listening.

    Reply
  • Ahoy Kate
    January 27, 2015

    I think having a good, open mindset going into important conversations is huge! It makes such a difference in the outcome of the conversation. These are some great tips! Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  • Amanda Marie
    January 27, 2015

    Thank you for sharing! This will be great advise for my relationship!

    Reply
  • Caitlyn S
    February 2, 2015

    Thank you very much for posting! As a newly married couple who are learning to live together for the first time we are also learning that we need to develop new ways to communicate with each other. This was simple and beautifully put!

    Reply
  • Lauren Doxey Packer
    February 11, 2015

    my biggest problem is flipping out when my husband has a critque for me. thsi is helpful!

    Reply
  • Sarah Elizabeth
    February 15, 2015

    Love this, such lovely and practical advice, but every point is very well placed. Thank you for sharing, it’s practical and inspirational 🙂

    Reply

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Hi, I’m Marquis Clarke

I'm a modern mom of two, who strives to encourage women throughout marriage and motherhood. I embrace life as it comes with kid meltdowns, family dance parties, and snacks galore. I believe that laughter is the best medicine, simplicity is perfection, and that life is breathtakingly beautiful.

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Happy 14th Anniversary @kevinclarke15 💙 I’ll go on any adventure with you. I love everything about our life together. Thank you for being my best friend!
Happy 14th Anniversary @kevinclarke15 💙 I’ll go on any adventure with you. I love everything about our life together. Thank you for being my best friend!
Happy 14th Anniversary @kevinclarke15 💙 I’ll go on any adventure with you. I love everything about our life together. Thank you for being my best friend!
Happy 14th Anniversary @kevinclarke15 💙 I’ll go on any adventure with you. I love everything about our life together. Thank you for being my best friend!
Happy 14th Anniversary @kevinclarke15 💙 I’ll go on any adventure with you. I love everything about our life together. Thank you for being my best friend!
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✏️🎒Back to school shopping for the kids is so fun when their new @statebags backpacks arrive! They both got Kane Double Pocket Large Backpacks. They’re so thoughtfully designed. Plus, each backpack also has a coordinating lunch box.🍎 The kids can’t wait for the first day of school. 📚COMMENT “shop” for the link to these adorable backpacks! 📚(they also have smaller sizes for every kids age range) #backtoschool #statebags #backpack #schoolsupplies #momlife
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#ad Big style, little price: Art Class Kids t-shirt’s from $8 and under at @Target! ✏️+ 20% off character backpack sets this week. 📚🍎 Get the styles kids love, at prices parents love even more! ❤️COMMENT “shop” and I’ll DM you the link to shop our favorite styles in my Target Storefront. #TargetCreator #paidlink #TargetBacktoSchool
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a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙

#texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
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a few more memories from our trip to @thesanluisresort in galveston 🏖️ we had so much fun exploring the strand, relaxing at the pool and enjoying the incredible scenery. 10/10 recommend @thesanluisresort 💙 #texasvacation #thingstodoinhouston #houstonmoms
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✨UNDER $15 ✨Hands down, my top 4 Favorite Amazon Tees! 💗 I own most of these in multiple colors and they are just so so good. COMMENT “shop” and I’ll DM you the link to shop these! 🛍️ (these are all on sale for prime days!) / https://liketk.it/5iwAT #amazonmusthaves #amazonfind #primeday #casualoutfit
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