Big gestures of love and appreciation are nice, but I’ve found, its the little things, the small daily details that fuel a marriage. You can buy a brand new car, but if you don’t change the oil, get your tires rotated, or even put gas in it, its not going to work properly. You have to put in the work and care. Its the every day things that make a difference. Thoughtful words and actions over time. Here are a few daily habits to put into practice to strengthen your marriage:
Listen To Each Other
In the busyness of life, sometimes we forget to actually stop and listen to each other or even speak for that matter. Make sure that you are actively listening to your spouse. Listening can clue you in to a lot going on in your spouses life and open the doors of communication wider than they have ever been.
Give Compliments
Compliment your spouse. Thoughtful comments about their appearance, their attitude, characteristics you love about them, etc make all the difference. You can compliment them on how good of a husband they are, how good of father, or even the great job they are doing a work. Letting your spouse know how much you admire and appreciate them is so important. You can also do this in fun ways like notes in their lunch, notes on the door of the house, texts in the day, an email or even in person. The possibilities are endless.
Make Time For Quality Time
I cannot highlight this enough. Put technology down, put kids down and make time for each other. My husband and I do this every night after we put Brooke to bed. We watch a movie together, play a game or just even lay in bed and talk to each other. Some nights we even involve our phones and play games against each other.
Set Aside Time For Yourself
This might not be something you think of immediately, but its important to have you time as well. If you don’t, you can start to feel like you give and give and never just rest for yourself. I do this in the morning when i’m driving and praying or having a quiet time. Time for myself has looked different throughout our marriage, but I always try to squeeze it in.
Encourage One Another
This can easily fall with giving compliments, but be sure to differentiate between the two. Dreaming together and setting goals as a couple is something that has been so great for our marriage. My husband is great at encouraging me in my goals for this blog and as a mom. He compliments me by letting me know i’m doing a good job, but also encourages me to reach my goals.
Show Affection
Physical touch is very important in a marriage. There’s a reason it is one of the 5 love languages. This can even be a touch of an arm or cuddling up for a movie. I love when my husband randomly holds my hand in the car or in bed at night. Simple gestures can go a long way, even when it comes to affection.
Give Grace Daily
Forgiveness and grace in marriage can be flat out hard. Everyday might not be easy, in fact, I can guarantee that it won’t be easy. Marriage is hard, and forgiveness is essential. Daily. Give Grace to your spouse. If you are struggling with this, here is a post I wrote a while back about 3 Steps To Forgiveness in Marriage.
Laugh Together
Oh… laughter. “Laughter is the best medicine.” I have no idea who first said this, but it is so so true. Laughter can do so much for your personal attitude throughout the day and in your marriage. There is so much happiness and fun in laughter. This might not be realistic every day, but it is a good habit to have fun and laugh with your spouse.
Keep Christ First
Most importantly, keep Christ FIRST in your life and in your marriage. Invite him into your marriage to transform it and renew it. The power of daily prayer in your marriage is HUGE! and nothing surpasses the power of Christ. He can heal any marriage, transform any heart, move any mountain and bring you to life.
Leah Mastilock
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the daily routine and forget to do even the smallest things that speak love to your spouse. These are great tips for any relationship
brendashandmade
These are wonderful tips! I wish my husband and I had time alone together, but with college age kids, they go to bed after we do!
Susannah
These are fantastic tips! It’s so important to keep our marriages healthy!
Tracey Brewer
My husband and I have to be purposeful about getting time alone together. I always thought it would be easier when our children were teenagers and we wouldn’t need babysitters ~ but now our teens’ lives are so busy, that we’re either attending their activities or driving them somewhere, and it seems even harder to get time to be together as a couple. Very thankful that after 25 years of marriage, we still enjoy getting away together, even if it’s just for a couple of hours!
I think it’s also important, as you mentioned, to keep doing the little things that speak love to your spouse. It often doesn’t take much but a moment of time and the skill to remember to do it!