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Simply Clarke

Faith, Marriage
/
July 15, 2014

3 Steps to Forgiveness in Marriage

I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?

 

That is normally how a fight ends in our house – with an apology and a request for forgiveness. However, the other day I heard something that intrigued me. When you sin against God, when does he forgive you? Is it after you apologize? Is it when you ask for forgiveness?

 

No. He forgives you before you even act against him.

 

This got me thinking and studying about what biblical forgiveness really looks life in relation to marriage. I uncovered three steps that I believe are essential for forgiveness in my marriage and wanted to share them with you.

 

1. Have a soft heart toward your spouse
We know that through our relationship with Christ, we are already forgiven. He has taken care of our biggest worry and condition, our sin. Once we accept Christ as our savior, he instantly forgives all of our past and future sins, because of His work on the cross. Therefore, he tells us: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) This is a huge statement. I think it is so important to keep a soft heart toward your spouse. Think about this in terms of how Christ treats you. In your mind, have you already forgiven your spouse for a fight you will have next week? Honestly, probably not. We tend to think in the moment of an argument. Focus on being kind to one another and forgiving each other in advance. It is a lot harder to get in arguments or do hurtful things if you are focusing on having a soft heart.

 

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace” – Ephesians 1:7
 
2. Apologize to one another and repent

Apologizing and asking for forgiveness is important. By apologizing, we are confessing that we were wrong or handled a situation poorly. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Your spouse needs to hear this from you, and they also need to see to repentance. To repent means to turn away from. Essentially, by repenting, you show that you mean what you say. “Actions speak louder than words” is a popular phrase that describes repentance well.

 

 “Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out” – Acts 3:19

 

3. Forget
“Love keeps no record of wrongs”(1 Corinthians 13). Once you have forgiven your spouse, forget as Christ has forgotten.“For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.” (Hebrews 8:12) Don’t harbor bad feelings or judgment. If you hold on to wrong doings, it will only affect your heart toward your spouse and like we talked about in step one, a soft heart is key.

 

“The Lord is merciful and gracious; slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” – Psalm 103:8-12

 

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6 Comments
  • Marquis Clarke
    July 15, 2014

    Amen!

    Reply
  • Marquis Clarke
    July 15, 2014

    Sounds like a healthy way to keep the relationship going!

    http://love-your-ego.blogspot.de

    Reply
  • Marquis Clarke
    July 15, 2014

    great tips even out of marriage, but very important in that context too 🙂

    http://www.somuchsunshine.com

    Reply
  • Marquis Clarke
    July 16, 2014

    how hard is it for you to forget?

    Reply
  • Marquis Clarke
    July 16, 2014

    Great tips!!

    Reply
  • Marquis Clarke
    July 24, 2014

    “Forget” is the #1 I’ve been trying to work on. No use in bringing up things of the past.

    Reply

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Hi, I’m Marquis Clarke

Hi, I’m Marquis Clarke

I'm a modern mom of two, who strives to encourage women throughout marriage and motherhood. I embrace life as it comes with kid meltdowns, family dance parties, and snacks galore. I believe that laughter is the best medicine, simplicity is perfection, and that life is breathtakingly beautiful.

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