Do you?
I’m not talking about casual hi, oh, what do you want for dinner? etc.
Do you really talk to your husband?
As most of you know, last week was our 2 year anniversary and we just happen to be going over “The Art of Romance” in our summer bible study at College group this past week. In The Art of Romance lesson, Kevin and I both really had our eyes opened. The speaker talked about “dating” his spouse – now let me preface, I have heard this so many times “date your spouse”. But, he said that they do this with “no distractions” and that is what hit us.
I think it is so easy to get busy and let distractions get in the way of our marriage. I like being on the computer and Kevin likes watching TV, so it is really easy for us to sit at home and “be together” but not really “talk” to each other. I feel like we do talk a lot in our marriage, but I think we could also do some improving in this area (because hey – we like each other a lot and want to!).
So, we decided that for our anniversary day, we were just going to focus on each other at dinner. This meant, no cell phones. I think we both were excited at the opportunity to just spend time together. We weren’t checking emails, or thinking about work, or multi-tasking or surfing social media. We were just sitting at dinner together, talking. It was great and we had some really good conversations about our life and house stuff.
I know it might sound simple, talking to each other. However, it is crazy how something so little can be taken for granted and easily put on the back burner. I know for us, we in no way want to be that couple at dinner both on their phones, not talking to each other. We both love each other very much and want to take every opportunity to make our marriage better.
We will definitely be putting this into practice more in our life. By taking time throughout the week to talk with no distractions, I know that this will also help us learn more about each other. We have been together over 7 years and I still love learning more about Kevin.
Here are some practical ways I came up with to do this in your marriage:
1. Make dinner together
2. Go outside and sit for 30 min or so
3. Take a walk together
4. Leave your cell phones in another room for one night a week
5. Go on a date night together
6. Play a board game/card game together
7. Go to bed early one night and just talk
8. Have a no technology night
9. Write a list of the things you love about the other person – then share out loud
10. Play 20 questions – and ask real ones – dreams, fears, hopes
Brittany B
Then you have kids and lose all chances of communicating! Lol I miss being able to have a conversation with my husband.
Congrats on two years! We celebrated our two year anniversary last month too!
Pamela
Love this so much!! 🙂 Our three year anniversary is coming up a little over a month from now! We def need to have a technology free night!
Heather Leigh
Love this girl!! And I totally agree. With my husband always working nights (and overtime) with the police academy. It’s so hard to get a word in. Because his normal schedule is work, come home, sleep and than work again.. So The Lord gave me a great idea to write a journal for Leon so he knows whats going on in my life. A journal of encouragement, concerns (Etc).. I just started it but I know God is going to do great things with it! It will be mine and Leon’s 2 years in December 🙂
Erin
all such great advice! I think it is so sad when couples stop dating…I make sure we go on at least one date a week.
Shannon Johnson
Thanks for the reminder today! It is a lot harder once you have kids but still, the marriage needs to be a priority. Especially now a days it seems more difficult to do. Happy Anniversary!
Shannon
smileandwrite1.blogspot.com
Rachel @ Well Worn Soles
I love this post. These are especially important for where we are in life – 5 years of marriage, 9 years together and two young kids. We love to go sit on the porch once the kids are asleep and just chat about the highs and lows of our days.
Rachel
http://www.wellwornsoles.com
Chelsea @ Married Filing Jointly
You listed some of our favorites! We love to play 20 questions and to spend time outside just talking- technology free!
Natalie Hinkley
so true, distractions get the better of us all the time, great post!
Michael
I really like this post. I think these guidelines are important for any real relationship. Boyfriends, fiances, husbands, good friends. We need to disconnect in order to really connect.
Kenzie Smith
I love all of those no-distraction date ideas!
Missydallas. Com
Great Post!
Summer Nicole
These are some great ideas…I will definitely be implementing some of them in my marriage…so fun to keep working at loving each other well!
Sarah {Limited Space Organizing}
This is something my husband and I are currently working on too! We made it a rule if we go out to eat, no phones at the table. We’ve also stopped all social media after 8:30 at night so we can spend time together. This weekend we are going on a spur of the moment getaway and we have already decided no phones/social media unless we are going to take a picture. We want to enjoy these moments and time together! Great post!
-Sarah
Ellie Spindler
Love this post! It is so true how we can forget to really “talk” to our spouses! My husband and I had a technology-free anniversary date night back in June and it was perfect. We’ve also both down-graded to non-smart-phones (dumb phones as we like to say) and that has been so precious for our time together…at restaurants…in the car… on getaways, etc as well as easier financially! I would highly recommend that change to anyone who is able to!
Ellie
http://www.ChoosingPeaceBlog.com
Amberly Lambertsen
I love that you did that! This is a goal that I had earlier this year, to spend an hour or two each day without my phone or my computer.
Amberly
http://lifewithamberlyandjoe.com
julianna
First of all, Happy Anniversary! I loved this post. I’ve heard of many people who have decided to put their phones away at a certain time in the afternoon (maybe when your husband gets home, etc) – but no technology in general is a good idea too! I’m only dating now, but I often feel so convicted about being distracted by social media. Even taking time to enjoy the view outside the window as we drive down the road is sometimes a challenge for me, and that shouldn’t be so. Thanks for posting – you gave some great tips!
Merrie Harper
I’m not married, but I love these ideas so much!! Going to have to try some of these suggestions out with my boyfriend!!
Kayla
Great post! I love all of these ideas and can’t wait to implement them into my relationship. Congrats on your anniversary!
Kayla
turquoiseandjewels.com
Steph @ Three Loud Kids!
Seriously. I love this. Recently I realized that me and my husband hardly talk (other than the necessary stuff) and since then have been trying work on this. For us, the internet kills our communication.