I have been focusing on Proverbs 31 the past few days. A few verses have really stuck out to me and where I am in my life right now. One of them being, “She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life” – Proverbs 31:12
How do you bring your Husband good and not harm?
It may seem simple, of course you don’t want to bring harm upon your husband. But this might not be the easiest to practice if you have wounds in your marriage where you feel like your husband has harmed you. My advice would be to be in constant prayer about this, which also happens to be my first thought as a way to bring your Husband good.
For me, my first thought when reading the verse was through Prayer. I have mentioned this before, but I believe that prayer is a vital part of a successful marriage, because you are inviting Christ into your marriage to shape each of you as He desires. It is not up to you to change and shape your Husband, it is up to Christ, after all He knows so much better than we do. I believe you can bring good to your Husband through prayer, prayer for his integrity, his strengths, his weaknesses, his walk, his work – for every aspect of His life. If you aren’t praying for these things for your husband, who is?
You words have the power to tear down your husband or build him up. I think as wives (& husbands too), we must seek to reconcile more than get even, and do right more than be right. The way we speak to our husbands should be out of the kindness of our heart. Now, I know this isn’t easy, especially in the middle of a fight or disagreement. (My advice if you are in the middle of a disagreement would be to stop and pray. It is a lot harder to fight if you have just stopped and prayed about it. It is humbling actually).
Its tends to be easier to try to be heard rather than taking the time to listen. I don’t ever want to put down my husband when he is sharing his heart about something. Its very easy to think about our own selfish desires/thoughts and overlook our husband. To do “good”, we must be “quick to listen and slow to speak”.
Lord, I pray that you would take my selfish desires and turn them into good. I pray that you would show me how to “do good” and “not harm” my husband. Mold me, shape me – to be a wife after God – to be more like You. Teach me to love my husband like You love me. I pray that my prayers, words and listening skills would build my husband up for good. I pray that I would seek to do right, more than be right and to reconcile more than get even. I confess that at times I have been a bad listener, that my words have not been uplifting and that my prayers have been selfish – I seek forgiveness for these times and pray against them in the future. I pray that my Husband would also seek You first and desire to fall more in love with You each day. I pray that his life would align with Your Word and Your character. Lord, strengthen our marriage and our relationship with You. Amen.