How To Serve Your Spouse

Over the past few weeks, I have become more and more uncomfortable at night with this growing little girl inside me. It has been a constant battle to find a comfy position on the couch for a movie or in bed to go to sleep. My sweet husband’s response has constantly been, “What can I do?” or “Do you want a massage?” Those two questions are music to my ears (and any pregnant lady’s for that matter). There may not be anything he can physically do to help me, but knowing his heart is wanting to, helps.

Marriage isn’t always about romance and it’s often not pretty, although I’m sure we all wished it was at times. Marriage is about work. Marriage is about sacrifice. Marriage is about doing the dishes, laundry, yard work and parenting together. Marriage isn’t strictly about you, it is about serving one another.

Without even knowing it, Kevin reminded me of what it means to serve your spouse. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day grind and become selfish to an extent. Through Kevin’s thoughtfulness, God asked me to look at my own heart and also reminded me of  Matthew 20:20-28 (The Mother of James & John’s Request) two different times this week and John 13:1-16(Washing the Disciples Feet). I guess God was trying to get my attention with the repetitiveness. I honestly love it when something comes my attention 2-3 times in a week, it really shows me what God is trying to impress upon my heart.

In Matthew 20, the mother of James and John requests that her son’s sit at the right hand of Jesus. Jesus goes on to say that she doesn’t know what she is asking and that whoever wants to be greatest, must become a servant and whoever wants to be first must be a slave. And in John 13, we see that although Jesus knew that all things were under his power and that he was above all, he got up from his meal, poured water into a basin, began washing his disciples’ feet and dried them with the towel that was wrapped around his waist. And said, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 14-16)

Jesus did not serve because he was beneath them, he served out of power and out of love. So, there are two ways you can approach serving your spouse – negative or positive. You can choose to count everything and argue about who does the dishes more, or you can serve one another out of love and keep no record.

In what ways could you be serving your spouse?

Here a few action steps if you feel completely lost or are just having a hard time serving out of love (because let’s face it, we don’t always want to be nice to our spouse, we are human)

Read 

Throughout scripture there are numerous examples of people serving one another. Take time to dig into the word and really see what scripture says about serving.

Pray

Pray that God would change your heart. I know it is easy to pray that God would “fix” your spouse and make them into who you want them to be, but really focus on praying for you. Pray that God would show you how to love your spouse like God loves the church. Pray that God would help you respect your spouse. Pray that He would show you ways to serve.

Be Intentional (brainstorm)

Brainstorm different ways you can serve your spouse. Put some thought into. Maybe take out the trash or do one of their chores. Offer a massage after a long day.

Act

Actually do what you brainstorm. Action means more than your thoughts… your spouse can’t read your mind.

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