Kids will do it to you. Family drama will do it to you. Work will do it you. Busy schedules will do it to you. Friends will do it to you. You name it, it’s life. It is so easy to get over-extended in today’s society and just be flat out exhausted. I know for us, this year has been very trying with adding a new baby, moving, changing jobs, and other family stuff, my husband and I have both felt exhausted all year. And, honestly, we have “bickered” more this year than the past several years of our marriage combined. We both chalk it up to stress and exhaustion. You just aren’t your best or your “nicest” when you are tired and stressed. We have really tried to combat our bickering with small things that make a big difference. Here are ways to maintain a thriving marriage when you’re exhausted:
Communication is key. Say it again. Communication is key. Really practice communicating with each other effectively and efficiently. If you don’t have time to talk, send a text or an email. Just make sure you are clear. When both of you are busy, there isn’t really time to make your partner guess or pick up on “hints”. You should say what you mean and what you need. Also, communicate kindly. It’s easy to snap when you are stressed, so if you do, be quick to apologize and clearly say it doesn’t have to do with your spouse, it’s that you are stressed about “xyz”.
Flirt When You Can
Yes, do this. Let your spouse know that they are still your number one priority. Send them texts throughout the day or give them a kiss first thing when they get home. Let them know that you are thinking about them and that you care. If you are barely seeing each other for dinner, even letting them know how much you miss time with them helps.
Schedule A Date Night (or 10 min)
Then, schedule time together. Scheduling a date night is best, but if that isn’t possible, schedule time together. Even if its 10 minutes alone after the kids go to bed, schedule it! Mark down time for your marriage. Make it a priority. You need time alone together. This will give you time to relax, time to talk, time to laugh and just time to be with each other.
This is huge for our marriage. We pray together before bed at night and this is such a great time to connect. We share our thoughts, desires, hopes, dreams, disappointments and we give them to the Lord. We pray for strength in our marriage and for our families. It is one of the things that binds our souls together so much.
Yes, “reset”. Two weeks ago, I wrote about 30 ways to reset your marriage. These are 30 little things you can do to get out of the “funk”. Wake up in a bad mood? Seem to not be agreeing on anything? Annoyed? Try one of the things on this list. Dance parties are my fav! Sometimes, we take life to seriously, have some fun.
While we have been through a season of “bickering” lately, I truly feel closer to my husband than every before and like we are thriving through this tough season. We have our moments, but we get back up, accept our faults and show each other A LOT OF GRACE!