This week is all about winning. The Super Bowl is the most watched sporting event with over 100 million viewers. That is a huge number to think about. This week people are making plans, making food, and making bets on who will win. All of this talk about winning made me start thinking about winning in marriage and how that is not always a good thing. With winning, comes a loser. Have you ever lost at something or lost something? Its no fun.
Now, think back to a time in your marriage where you were faced with a situation that was no fun. Arguments happen in marriage and often leave us feeling angry and frustrated. Many different emotions can come to the surface during an argument and leave us too many feelings to count.
Hear me clearly when I say that disagreements are not particularly a bad thing. God made man and woman. He made man and woman differently. Men and women have different needs, different desires, different interests, you name it… differences. So, we are bound to have disagreements.
The important thing is how you respond to these disagreements. Do you find yourself constantly trying to “win” an argument. Most of the time we want to get our point across or we want our voice to be heard. We are quick to speak and slow to list. We want to WIN. However, it is important to remember that in marriage, you are a TEAM. You are not opponents. You share the same jersey, you are ONE.
So remember, when you think you are winning a disagreement, you aren’t winning at all. When you find yourself in the middle of your “big competition” stop and have a time out. Try one of these 10 Sure-Fire Rules for Fighting Fair. Someone once told me, “even the best couples fight”. It happens. You have two sinful people living under the same roof. You are bound to upset each other. You are bound to be selfish at times. You are bound to get on each others nerves. It happens, but how you handle fights when they come matters. Do you blow up at each other? Can you not control your anger? Do you say hurtful things you regret? I use to think that as your relationship progressed, you would begin to fight “better” or more “fair”, however, now I really think you go seasons in your marriage. I don’t think it is really cut and dry. However, I do think its a conscience effort by both people to fight “fair” and be on the same “team.”
Are you winning in your marriage?