Your to do list is growing by the minute and your planner is spilling over with commitments you have made, work obligations, and your kids schedule of events. In fact, the only reason you’re even reading this is, because you are savoring those two sweet minutes you get to check your phone before you fall asleep or while your going to the bathroom (yes I said that… its true). I totally understand.
We live busy lives. Our world is constantly full of chaos. We are a busy people.
Which is why you should keep reading, girl.
Since we had kids, our schedule has only gotten busier and they aren’t even in Elementary school yet! I feel like most days I go to bed completely empty giving all I have to my husband, my kids and my work.
And, I’m exhausted.
So, how do you do it? How do you maintain a thriving marriage through the chaos… through the busy? Well, in hopes to save you some of the struggle we have gone through, here are my 7 best marriage tips for the busy wife.
You are not roommates.
Roommates share the same living space. Husbands and wives share their lives. Your husband isn’t just taking up half of your refrigerator space, he is your dinner date. He is you best friend, secret-keeper and the man God chose for you. Stop treating each other like roommates.
Don’t Give Your Husband Your Leftovers
Speaking of dinner dates and refrigerator space, don’t give your husband your left overs. I get it. I told you earlier, most days I climb into bed feeling completely, utterly exhausted, and that I have given my all to each person in our family. It’s easy to let “things” suck out all of our energy. I have had little babies crying at my feet all day, climbing all over me like a jungle gym and demanding my constant attention – on top of meeting all my work deadlines. Its easy to just want to bombard my husband with complaints as soon as he walks in the door. Or, brush him off when he wants to hold hands – after all, my space has been invaded all day by little runny noses. This isn’t fair. Your husband doesn’t deserve your leftovers. He deserves your all.
Stop Being a Nag
He doesn’t deserve a nag. Like I said, its easy to bombard my husband with complaints as soon as he walks in the door. I have been home with the kids, they are driving me crazy or a work deadline has me stressed. Its easy to take it out on him. Yes, I should be “true” and share my feeling with my husband, but when it turns into constant complaining and negativity – that is not good for a marriage. There is a line between authenticity and just flat out being a nagging wife in a bad mood. Find your line and find your happy.
Find Your Joy
Find your Joy. Find what makes you happy in the chaos of your day. Is it listening to music softly? Is it having your morning coffee alone? Find what brings you joy and happiness. Finding your HAPPY will increase the joy in your marriage. I quickly learned this in the beginning of our marriage and have had to “re-learn” it lately.
Your husband might lead your house, but you set the TONE for your home.
You know the saying, “if mama ain’t happy, no one’s happy”. Well, its around for a reason. If you set a joyful, content tone for your house, it will spill over into all other aspects of your family.
Date Nights. Date Nights. Date Nights.
Get away for date nights. You love your planner, so schedule them out. Make every other Friday a date night or plan two a month. Whatever you can do, as often as you can. YOU NEED DATE NIGHTS ALONE. I have found that the more stress in marriage, the more little fights, the more nagging, etc. – but when you get away. When you drop off the kids, when you silence your phones, when you just focus on each other – you refuel your soul. When Kevin and I go on date nights, I can’t stop smiling. I feel so relaxed and at home. They are good for my soul.
And, when you can’t have date nights or have crazy-busy weeks, make sure you are checking in with each other. Invest in your marriage by communicating with one another. This can be through setting a time with each other each day to “check in” and see how the other is doing. I love this for EVERY marriage at least once a day. We tend to “check in” at night after the kids to sleep. Some nights this is a one minute quick talk, others an hour conversation.
Always prayer. If you have read almost any marriage post here at Simply Clarke, you knew this was coming. There is nothing that will outdo the POWER OF PRAYER. Pray for your marriage. Pray for your husband. Pray for yourself as a wife juggling your schedule. Ask for guidance and for help. I have seen the power of prayer change, heal and restore marriages. God is moving all around us and he can move in your marriage if you invite him in.
What it all comes down to is this. If we’re too busy to love our husbands well and invest time in our marriage, then WE ARE TOO BUSY. No event, no commitment, and no ambition is worth sacrificing your marriage. So, if your schedule is not allowing you to implement any of these things and you feel your marriage taking a back seat. Make a change. Start investing in your marriage.