I am so honored to be here at Simply Clarke today. Our girl Marquis is such an inspiration to me as a new wife. My name is Brittany and I blog at Happy Is A Choice. I married my husband Ronnie in October of last year, and as a new wife, I am constantly learning and soaking up wisdom from other women who are farther along in their journey than me. Today I just want to share a few pieces of advice I’d like to share with any new bride in this new season of their life.
O N E Your Marriage Doesn’t Have To Look Like ____’s marriage to be right. As a new wife, I have found myself comparing myself and my marriage to other people’s marriages. I’ve found myself thinking “Suzie does this for her marriage, so I should do that too.” I’ve done this in so many areas: finances, home maintenance/care, cooking, date nights, etc. The list goes on and on. But, just like every person is different, every marriage is unique as well. I don’t know where I (and a lot of society) got the ideas in our heads that there is one right way to do marriage and life, but I know now that is not the case. I have realized that if we are submitting our lives and our marriage to Christ and obedient to what He is calling us too, it is okay if our marriage doesn’t look like my friends marriage, or my cousins marriage or my neighbors marriage.
T W O Spending time apart is healthy. I think one of the best things we do for our marriage is have alone time. The time we spend with our friends or pursuing our individual interests is good for our marriage. I treasure the time I get to hang out with my girlfriends, and also enjoy nights home alone when I can watch Gossip Girl in my most comfortable pjs and wrinkle cream on my face. We love hanging out together and I crave time with my husband and that’s why I am comfortable saying that we enjoy our time apart too.
T H R E E Don’t forget to date each other. Remember how when you first started dating, romance was in the air? You woke up to the sweetest good morning texts, your man stopped by your work with a coffee just because, you made his favorite dinner and desert on a random Wednesday night, and he left you little notes around your apartment? Don’t stop doing that! Its easy to fall into a routine once you’re married and romancing each other can sometimes get lost with all the chaos and busyness of every day life. Set aside date nights and continue to think of ways to show your husband you love him.
F O U R Marriage isn’t a business with to-do lists full of laundry, chores and bills. Those things, while important, are not the most important thing about marriage. What matters most is intentional time together, reconnecting, going on dates and remembering why you fell in love with your man all over again. Love binds you together, and that’s worth investing in. Its worth letting the dishes sit in the sink over night to go on a walk together as the sun sets, hand in hand. Its worth stretching those paychecks just a little to take a random weekend getaway.
F I V E Being healthy as an individual is crucial to being a healthy couple. Our marriage thrives when my husband and I are both working on being our most healthy selves-spiritually, emotionally, physically. A healthy marriage is only made between two healthy people. We both do our best to bring our best selves to each other, and when there are inevitably seasons when one of us is struggling, we know we have the other person to lean on and help strengthen each other. It is my responsibility as a wife to pursue growth, discipline, guidance and time with the Lord in order to be a healthy and content wife.
If you’re married, what pieces of advice would you share with a newlywed? I’d love to hear, either below in the comments or please feel free to come stop by my blog and say hello. I blog about marriage, faith, running and everything in life that inspires or encourages me. I’d love to get to know you!