This is probably one of the hardest posts I have ever written. I think because I normally share all of my thoughts so easy. However, my words just don’t seem to fully depict what has been going on in my life and heart lately. It may not seem like I have been M I A to a lot of you, but I really have. The past week and a half has been incredibly hard.
Sunday, June 15th: Father’s Day. When I called to wish my dad a Happy Father’s Day, I was greeted by a voice on the end of the phone that didn’t sound very good. My dad told me that his dad, my pawpaw, wasn’t doing very good. We proceeded to talk for a while and a few other times throughout the night.
Monday, June 16th: My dad called at 6:30 in the morning to tell me that my PawPaw passed away during the night. Kevin got up with me and held me as I cried for a few hours then we both got ready for work to keep busy. I ended up spending most the day with Kevin and my bff Lauren. She was a great friend.
Tuesday, June 17th – Thursday, June 19th: Kevin and I headed to Lake Jackson to be with our parents and family. We had the viewing and funeral.
Friday, June 20th: My 24th Birthday. I found out my grandma’s boyfriend (since I was like 7) passed away. I was pretty sad most of the day, although Kevin and Lauren tried to cheer me up with shopping, dinner and a movie.
Overall, I have been extremely sad. Here is an excerpt from what I spoke about at my PawPaws funeral:
Sometimes, goodbye just doest feel right. Sometimes, its hard and painful. To say goodbye to a man I have known and loved my whole life.
To a man who:
fished with my dad every chance he got. His eyes would just light up even talking about going fishing with my dad. It was one of his favorite things to do. I have so many memories of them sitting outside in the garage and cleaning fish.
To a man who:
taught me how to crack pecans. & always tried to make me take a bag home even though I don’t even eat pecans. But, lets just say I always ended up going home with a bag or two.
To a man who:
always made the best pancakes for breakfast and
who backed into a car one time when he was taking me to get donuts before school and swore he just “grazed” the other car, when in reality he hit it and kept on driving me to school
To a man who:
who made me memorize this irrelevant german poem: A B C die katze lichten schnee. Die schnee gefecht die katze lichten drecht.
To a man who:
told me constantly how proud he was of me. In college, one time he sent me a card that had a green garden on the front and then when you open it up, it just says I am so proud of you. I think I have looked at the card a thousand times. Anytime I need encouragement, I just pull it out and read his words, also, when I graduated college, him and granny got me this ring that says “I’m so proud of you” on the inside so that I would have a constant symbol like the letter.
To a man who:
always held my hand when I was next to him
gave me the confidence to do anything I wanted
danced with me on my wedding day
would always let me eat as much candy as I wanted
& called me his little rascal
PawPaw was a great man who always put his family first and loved us with his whole heart. I already miss your hand holding mine. I will forever be you Little Rascal. I love you.