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April 20, 2017

When Mom Life Is Tough…

When Baby Kev Kev was just two weeks old, I posted an Instagram picture with this caption: ” Today was one of those #winning days as a mom. I got almost everything checked off my to do list for the day and managed both kids by myself for the first time. Plus, we were all dressed and ready to go by 7:30am for Baby Kev Kev’s 2 week doctor appointment. Well… minus Brooke’s shoes.. she is obsessed with taking them off/putting them back on right now. I had to document the day, because who knows what tomorrow will hold with #twoundertwo”.

When I wrote that statement, I knew hard days were coming. I knew that everyday wouldn’t be so great. I knew that some days, I would be 30 minutes late with spit up on my shirt. I knew that some days, I wouldn’t get anything checked off of my to do list. I knew that it would be hard. I didn’t have just a glowing expectation of 2 kids. I knew it would be a lot of work.

But, I didn’t know how hard it would be. Its so easy to scroll through your Instagram feed and see all of the good. You see smiling, picture perfect babes, and mamas with perfect outfits and hair. You see the fun times. You rarely see the hard days. You rarely see the real, the messy days.

The truth is, I have been struggling with this a lot since becoming a parent of two. Don’t get me wrong, I love my babies like crazy and have had fun, but it has been very hard. Some days, I feel like I am failing at everything. I feel like I’m failing at potty training Brooke, and letting her watch too much TV. I feel like I’m failing with Baby Kev Kev when he won’t stop crying. I feel like I’m failing at blogging, because I can’t keep up. I feel like I’m failing around the house, because its hard to even get dishes cleaned from the day, let alone pick up toys or clean. I feel like I’m failing as a wife, because all of my attention is being divided between babies that “need” me. Then, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that our life isn’t picture perfect. I feel guilty that I can’t keep up. I feel guilty that I don’t have this two kids thing figured out yet. I feel guilty that I’m not doing better.

I am exhausted. I can’t keep up. I need rest.

But, as a wife and mom, how do you rest? In Exodus 31, God tells Moses that keeping the Sabbath is of the utmost importance. God knew we would need rest. But, does that mean we just take off all day on Sunday and rest? I kind of wish, but no, it doesn’t. In the New Testament, we learn in Mark 2 and 3 that our Sabbath rest comes through Jesus Christ.

Right now, if you are a believer, you have the Holy Spirit inside of you. Let me say that again, you have the HOLY SPIRIT inside of you. This is meant to be life giving. Jesus is available to us at all times, He is not confined to a day. You have the presence and power of Christ in YOU.

So, what does this rest practically look like? Well, you are at your best when you have been in the presence of God. For me, this means taking minutes and moments in my day to be in HIS presence. Right now, that looks like reading my devotional while nursing in the morning, praying through the tough moments when my toddler is testing me, thanking God in the sweet moments when things are going well, and reminding myself each night before bed that my behavior doesn’t effect my position with Christ. But, this might look different in your day based on where you are in life.

If you are a working mom, that might mean spending five minutes in between meetings in prayer, or listening to worship music on your way home from work. If you have grown kids, this might look like family dinner discussing your day and praying for each other.

The biggest thing that helps me is remembering that God isn’t looking at my to do list and judging me based off of what I do and don’t get done. He isn’t looking at me as a failure if I don’t get the dishes cleaned or if I don’t read my devotional for the day. My position with Him is secure. I am a child of the King. I am loved. I am redeemed. I have His grace and power.

This week has been hard, but good at the same time. I don’t have everything figured out and I am starting to become okay with that. When I wrote my husband an email earlier this week telling him I felt like I was failing at so many things, he sent me to listen to a sermon. Thats all he said, Go listen to this. So, I did and he was perfectly right. The inspiration for this post and my new positive attitude is because of this Sermon by Matt Chandler. If you are struggling with balancing work and rest in your life, I highly suggest giving this a listen.

Mamas, rest in HIM today, don’t carry the burden alone.

 

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10 Comments
  • Aly Schuelke
    April 20, 2017

    Well said and beautifully written. As a new mom myself, (my son is almost 7 months old) I often think about how I am not doing enough as a wife and mother. But I DO know that I can fully rely on Him to help me through the good days and the bad. Thanks for the post–I am sure we all needed to read it 🙂

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Aly Schuelke
      April 20, 2017

      It’s nice to know that we aren’t alone! Thank you!!

      Reply
  • Caley Rosenberg
    April 21, 2017

    Sweet mama, you are not failing at anything – life is just adjusting. And your faith will give you the strength to get through the tough days. Sending you so much love x

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Caley Rosenberg
      April 24, 2017

      Thank you! We are starting to adjust more and more. Potty training isn’t helping lol

      Reply
  • brokenbutadored
    April 21, 2017

    Marquis, this is so, so good! Girl, I admire your honesty! I can only image the adjustment that comes with adding a new life. I will find out in August – and it is definitely a scary thing to think about. But I know I can rest in Him! Thanks for that reminder. Have a blessed weekend, my friend.

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      brokenbutadored
      April 24, 2017

      Yes Yes!! It is such a blessing but trying at times as well! Wouldn’t trade it for anything

      Reply
  • Mary Leigh
    April 22, 2017

    I love this so much! There are days when I feel like I totally have it together and then the very next day, I will feel like I can’t hold it together. Momming is tough work, but praise God that his power is made perfect in our weakness. I was so encouraged by this. I hope you have a great weekend!

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Mary Leigh
      April 24, 2017

      Very well said!! You too!

      Reply
  • Shelbi Anderson
    May 10, 2017

    I absolutely love this!! Sometimes it’s so hard to see the good. I oftentimes find myself focusing in on the bad, but I’ve really been working on letting go and letting GOD!

    Reply
    • Marquis Clarke
      Shelbi Anderson
      May 10, 2017

      Thank you! For sure, some days are trying and stopping to think about the good always helps!

      Reply

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Hi, I’m Marquis Clarke

Hi, I’m Marquis Clarke

I'm a modern mom of two, who strives to encourage women throughout marriage and motherhood. I embrace life as it comes with kid meltdowns, family dance parties, and snacks galore. I believe that laughter is the best medicine, simplicity is perfection, and that life is breathtakingly beautiful.

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  • A sweet Mother’s Day dinner last night with my not so little anymore babies 💗🍕Being your mom is the greatest joy and blessing.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms here! I know today can be filled with so many emotions - joy, sorrow, excitement, disappointment, thankfulness or longing… 

whatever today might bring for you, I hope you have a glimpse of joy in your day and know that you are not alone. you are seen, you matter and you are loved!

#happymothersday #momsofinstagram #momlife
A sweet Mother’s Day dinner last night with my not so little anymore babies 💗🍕Being your mom is the greatest joy and blessing.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms here! I know today can be filled with so many emotions - joy, sorrow, excitement, disappointment, thankfulness or longing… 

whatever today might bring for you, I hope you have a glimpse of joy in your day and know that you are not alone. you are seen, you matter and you are loved!

#happymothersday #momsofinstagram #momlife
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A sweet Mother’s Day dinner last night with my not so little anymore babies 💗🍕Being your mom is the greatest joy and blessing. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms here! I know today can be filled with so many emotions - joy, sorrow, excitement, disappointment, thankfulness or longing… whatever today might bring for you, I hope you have a glimpse of joy in your day and know that you are not alone. you are seen, you matter and you are loved! #happymothersday #momsofinstagram #momlife
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