A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about Proverbs 31:12 – “Do you bring your Husband good?” I was reading back over the passage today and the verse right in front of it really hit home. “The heart of her Husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” – Provers 31:11
Does your husband trust you? Are you trustworthy? I want to be the ultimate “safe place” for my husband. I consider him my most trusted friend in every aspect of my life. I want to share every ounce of my feelings, hopes, dreams and future with him. It excites me and fills me with joy. Some of my favorite moments in our marriage are just us laying in bed late at night talking to each other and praying.
How can you be that “safe place” for your husband?
Building trust takes time, but can easily be shattered. You can’t remember all the secrets people have kept for you, but you can remember every time someone took advantage of your trust. In every area, large and small, be a safe place for your husband. Keep his secrets, always. This can be very hard in marriage if your spouse has lost your trust or you have lost theirs. This is where forgiveness and prayer comes in – we are human, so naturally we are each filled with sin and will disappoint each other at times, but we should strive to be that solitude for our spouse and extend grace in that area.
Listen Without Judgement
Whole-heartedly listen when your spouse is talking to you. If they are pouring out their heart, just listen. Don’t feel the need to “fix” or speak up, wait till they are finished and support them. Don’t judge their thoughts, or how they handle situations. In James 5:16, it tell us to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” This is an amazing thing in marriage but is an example of where to be careful with judgement. Your spouse isn’t perfect, nor are you. Be encouraging to them and help build each other up.
Have Interest and Concern
While listening fully is extremely important, so is sharing an interest and concern about the conversation. You husband’s problems are your problems. You are “one flesh”, you are to be building each other up in Christ. Don’t just brush off their concerns, but take an interest in them and support them. I want my husband to feel deeply loved and that I will always be by his side to help in any way.
For Your Heart Only
Same as, “for your eyes only”. In order to be “a safe place” for your husband, you must keep his trust like we talked about earlier. This means not sharing your conversations with the world. I mentioned above that some of my favorite moments in our marriage are laying in bed late at night talking to each other. To me that is special, my husband knows things about me that no one else knows and he keeps those things in his heart. It is a special bond we have that no one else can fill, not a friend or parent or sibling – just us.
Be In Prayer
This is a biggie and always on my list because I always think we need God’s help in everything we do. I want God to be at the center of my marriage. I want to lean on him to change me and shape me in any way needed. It is only through prayer that we can combat sin and continue to have a trustworthy relationship.
Lord, teach me how to be a good wife. Teach me to be a safe place for my husband. I want to be a source of renewal and strength for him. I want him to constantly feel my love and support. Lord, please take away any selfishness or need to make things about me. I pray that you would strengthen our marriage so that nothing would come in between us and our trust with one another. Make me a good listener, help me be the partner my husband needs. Help us continue to seek You and Your Word and glorify You with our marriage. Amen