September 6, 2017

Take Back Your Marriage: From Your Kids

Its time to take back your marriage! As I mentioned last week, there are so many things begging for our attention that it is hard to find time for anything, let alone our marriage. I urged that is time to take back your marriage: from your kids, from technology, from your finances, from your busy schedule and from yourself. Join me for the next 5 weeks as we break down how to take back our marriages. While our kids are a tremendous joy and responsibility, it can be hard to balance our time. Here are 7 ways to take back your marriage from your kids:

Time for conversations

Make time for real conversations with your spouse. Most days we are rushing to get dinner on the table, kids bathed and in bed by a decent time. Then, its finishing up work, picking up the house and getting ready for the next day. Oftentimes, conversations go un-had or delayed until later due to lack of time and things can be forgotten or even turn into fights. Its so important to take time to communicate with each other. We try to solve this by assigning a time for conversations. If we need to talk about something, we say – lets talk about this right when I get home, or lets talk about this at dinnertime, or lets talk about this after the kids go to sleep. By assigning a time for conversation, this gives both of you an expectation of when you are going to talk. Then, its important to stick to the conversation or assign a new time to talk.

Daily Check In

This is key for communication as well. Make sure that you are daily checking in with your spouse about their day and asking about their heart. We tend to do this right before bedtime or when we first see each other after work. It is a great way to talk about our day and anything going on in our lives. Its a short little 2 minute check in with each other.

Date Nights

These are just good for the soul. Take time to spend alone with just each other. I know this can be extremely hard if you live far from family or have busy schedules but it is so vital. With our recent move and job changes, we have been extremely stressed. However, the one thing that has really helped us is taking time for the two of us. One night, we took just a 20 minute golf cart ride together while our parents watched the kids and it was so enjoyable just to talk and be with each other. We have also had a fun dinner out with friends since moving near family. We can’t wait for our next date night out. I recommend date nights once a week or every other week if possible. Take them as often as you can!

Dress to impress

Yes, i said. Dress to impress your spouse. I know since our kids have been around, its hard to even find time to shower some days. Dry shampoo has become my best friend and getting everyone clean is a huge task. However, I have found that it is really nice to still dress up for your spouse. I know that looks aren’t important and don’t define you, but every now and then, it shows that you care and that you want to impress them still. It might be minor, but can be such a nice gesture.

Be affectionate

****Just thought I would use stars to show how important this one is for your marriage. Be affectionate with each other. Maybe even gross your kids out a little bit. I know when we kiss in front of Brooke she loves it and always wants to be in the middle. We want her to know mommy and daddy love each other and care for each other. Be affectionate. Think holding hands in the car or while watching a television, hugs while cooking dinner and kisses goodbye in the morning. Take little moments to show affection to each other.

Serve

Serve one another. To me, there is nothing sweeter than my kids seeing their dad serve our family. I have so much gratitude for my husband in this area. He truly serves our family so well. He works hard all day long, then come home, plays with the kids, helps me with dinner, does the dishes and helps give the kids baths. Be each others helpmates and partners. Be a team and serve one another. Not every day will be 50-50. Some days, you might be feel like you are carrying 99% of the burden around the house, while others, you might be carrying 20%. Its about helping each other, seeing a need, and meeting that need. Be aware of how you can serve your spouse.

Pray

Pray together and pray for one another. I cannot express enough how much this will change your marriage. My husband and I do this at night before we go to bed and it is one of the most powerful things that helps us thrive in our marriage. Prayer is intimate, raw, emotional and real. It goes to the very depth of your soul. When you pray together in your marriage, there is so much power. Be open and honest about your difficulties and pray with/for each other. If you aren’t sure where to start, I have written so many posts on this topic. Here is How To Pray For Your Marriage Daily, How To Pray With Your Spouse and 25 Verses To Pray Over Your Marriage.

Be sure to come back next Wednesday for the next post to Take Back Your Marriage: From Technology!