January 15, 2019

12 Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage in 2019

strengthen your marriage It is mid January already – just about this time, resolutions are already starting to fall apart. You have the best intentions, but life just has a way of getting in the way. Everyone tries to start off right, the gym is packed – fast foods lines are clear. But only for a while. Don’t let your marriage be the thing that takes a back seat in 2019. Resolve to change your habits, resolve to make Christ number one in your life, resolve to love unconditionally. Resolve to strengthen your marriage.

Talk Finances

Lets just tackle the big one first. Finances are among the number one fights between couples. You have heard this, you know this – so tackle it head on in January! Don’t let money rule your life or come between your marriage. This does not have to be your story. I can honestly say, Kevin and I have had ZERO money fights. We have goals, we have a plan, we work our plan – we are on the same page. Check out How To Survive Money & Marriage for more details.

Communicate Better

With all of the forms of communication available to us, you would think that we would be better at communicating; however, most of the time we are awful at it. I think we have more conversations, but not necessarily as deep or effective. We have all kinds of things trying to win over our time and attention. Work on your communication skills with each other, set times to talk about your day or set aside the weekend for important discussions. Find what works for you. – 5 Tips for Better Communication.

Learn to Listen

While this is a big part of communicating, I feel like it is so important that it gets it’s own paragraph. I have always considered myself a good listener but as I get older, it is more evident how much I really just want to voice my opinion. I have been actively working on this to make sure I am fully listening to my husband’s words. There is something beautiful about really listening to what your spouse is saying/feeling without having to get a word in or steer the conversation in your direction. 4 Ways To Be A Better Listener

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” – James 1:19

Forgive One Another

Your marriage doesn’t need the weight of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness makes you bitter. Unforgiveness only hurts you. You aren’t going to feel free until you forgive one another completely. Are you holding onto something that happened before your marriage? Are you resentful of things in your marriage? Let them go. Don’t blame one another or hold resentment a day longer. Set yourself and your marriage free through grace. 3 Steps To Forgiveness in Marriage

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” – Mark 11:15

Date Like You Are 16

I remember the thrill of seeing Kevin’s name pop up on my computer screen (yes I’m referring to IM chat). I remember the butterflies of our first movie date. I remember the sparks. I remember the FUN. Fun doesn’t have to end in marriage. Marriage doesn’t have to be ordinary. Be fun. Be energetic. When you first start dating, all you think about is the other person. You talk on the phone for hours, just to hear the sound of their voice. You get nervous at their touch. You want to look into each others eyes for hours. Nothing else matters. Remember those feelings. Date like that. Look at your spouse, and see that person you fell in love with – the person you couldn’t get off your mind. Sometimes, Kevin still gives me butterflies and I never want that feeling to go away.

Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. – Proverbs 5:18

Laugh Uncontrollably

Laughter is the best medicine. It heals your soul. I will say that this is one of my favorite things about our marriage and I consider it to be one of the things that keeps us thriving. Kevin makes me laugh everyday. We can be in the middle of a disagreement, I can furious – then he just makes me laugh. Be fun and goofy with your spouse. Have a water fight in the house. Be happy together. Lay in bed and tell old funny stories about your relationship. Smile. Laugh. Don’t take life too seriously.

“A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.” – Proverbs 15:13

Serve One Another

Marriage isn’t always about romance and it’s often not pretty, although I’m sure we all wished it was at times. Marriage is work. Marriage is about sacrifice. Marriage is about doing the dishes, laundry, yard work and parenting together. Marriage isn’t strictly about you, it is about serving one another. But remember that Christ loves us unconditionally and that is how we are called to love. Selflessly. 20 Ways To Serve Your Husband

“love is not self-seeking..” – 1 Corinthians 13:5

Be Cautious of Technology

Now, I love my television and computer just like anyone. You can normally find me with my iPhone glued to my hand or the computer on my lap, and sometimes both at the same time. When it comes to spending time with your spouse, put down your phone and focus on one another. If your out to dinner, have a no phone rule at the table. When your at home, watching a movie or tv show, put your phone down and just be together. There are too many things in this world trying to distract you. Don’t let technology distract you from really spending time with your spouse.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. – Ephesians 4:29

Keep Your Romance Alive

Text throughout the day. Spice things up in your marriage. Its 10 or 11am, you are settled in at work, the day is moving and your phone goes off with a text from your spouse. “I love you, I hope your day is going good” or ” I can’t wait to see you tonight”. Let your spouse know that you are thinking about them. Basically, flirt with them. If you want to get real fancy, you can leave notes around for them or send flowers, etc. Basically, let your spouse know they are on your mind, that your heart is with them.

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” – Song of Solomon 8:7

Worship Together

There is something extremely intimate about going to church and worshiping with your husband. For me, I feel like I am pouring out my heart and growing towards Christ. When you share that with your spouse, your relationship deepens, because you let them into an aspect of your heart. We also worship together by listening to worship music in our home and enjoy listening to sermons together as well over podcast.

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” – Matthew 18:20

Show Affection

Yes, you are married, so yes, you should act like it. I’m not saying go all “get a room” style in public affection… but subtle public affection and “get a room” private affection. Lets face it, we were created to be intimate with our spouse. But, I believe that it means more than just showing up at night, its about the spiritual and emotional connection you experience with your spouse. It can’t be just physical, if it is, it will just be temporal and meaningless.

“My lover is mine, and I am his” – Song of Solomon 2:16

Pray Together

Prayer is one of the most powerful and meaningful things we can do for our marriage. Not only are we told to pray in scripture–we’re told to pray without ceasing. I want to be a praying wife. I want to cover my husband in prayer. There is also great value in praying together. I know that if you haven’t done this a lot in your relationship, it can be award. Lets be honest, you are baring your sole and confessing your sins during prayer. You are talking to a Holy God who is all knowing and all powerful. This makes prayer very intimate and venerable, so of course, it can be a bit of a struggle to do this with someone else at first. But, trust me, it is powerful. > How To Pray For Your Marriage Daily > How To Pray With Your Spouse

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My prayer is that your marriage and mine would thrive in 2019. & for all you single ladies, my prayer is that your heart and your future husband’s heart would be filled with a love for Christ and yearning for His Word.